Tracing My Italian Roots: A Journey Through Family, Heritage, and Identity
When I think back on my recent trip to Italy, the experience is vivid with history, connection, and discovery. But the most profound highlight was the time I spent with my older brother in Marsala, Sicily, on a treasure hunt through archives to find my grandmother’s birth records. It was exhilarating: the thick, leather-bound books filled with thousands of names, and the archivists who, despite the language barrier, were just as excited as we were to piece together our family story. Their playful bickering over which records to search added a touch of humor and warmth to the journey.
After some patient and persistent digging, we found the records of her emigration from Sicily to New York and eventually located her birth records. Holding those pieces of history was deeply moving, a tangible connection to her life. Then, we set out to trace my grandfather’s birthplace, though time ran short. His town, nestled in the mountains near Rome, was closed for the day, so we simply walked the quiet streets. I’ll return there someday, to find those records and reconnect with another piece of my history.
In addition to family discoveries, we explored the beautifully kept town of Meron, my grandmother’s birthplace. True to her meticulous nature, Meron was pristine, like an old medieval town lovingly maintained. I instantly felt that this sense of order and pride was something she passed down. Reflecting on her life and journey, I realized how many pieces of her personality, and that of my grandfather, had imprinted on me.
We shared plenty of laughs along the way, especially when we speculated that my grandfather may have chosen to settle in Chicago simply because it sounded like the Italian town of Ceccano! Another great family story is how my grandfather, after seeing a picture of my grandmother on her cousin’s mantle, declared, “I’m going to marry her.” True to his word, he traveled to St. Louis, asked for her hand, and together they built a life that would span over seven decades.
This trip also sparked thoughts about identity—something I talk about often in my work and in conversations with others. Our identity is such a powerful part of our lives; it’s both who we are and the cultural heritage we carry. While our personal sense of identity can drive us to achieve our dreams, it can also keep us confined within inherited beliefs. For me, being Italian has always been a source of pride, yet until recently, I hadn’t fully appreciated the hardships my ancestors faced as immigrants. They, like many immigrant groups, endured harsh discrimination in America. After watching *Cabrini*, a film about Mother Frances Cabrini’s work with Italian immigrants and orphans, I learned about the struggles Italian immigrants faced, from discrimination to deplorable living conditions. In some cases, Italians were described as living worse than “the rats.”
Yet my grandparents’ story is one of perseverance. My grandfather worked on the railroads and eventually built a comfortable life for his family, retiring with pride. He often advised, “Do like I did, now do like I do,” a saying that hinted at the importance of hard work, wise financial choices, and setting up a good future. I always assumed my work ethic came from my dad, but after visiting Italy, I realized it’s woven into the fabric of my family history.
Over the years, that work ethic has served me well. It’s enabled me to provide for my children, and at times, my entire family. Yet, as with any strength, when overused, it can become a limitation. For a while, I was working constantly, completely disregarding any semblance of work life balance. This is what I call the “dirty underbelly” of a hard work ethic—it’s powerful, but only if used mindfully.
This trip reminded me of the importance of both celebrating and moderating the core values we inherit. My grandmother’s love of cleanliness, for example, is a gift that I cherish. Yet, I know I can sometimes get a bit obsessive, needing everything in its perfect place. While I love a clean house, I’ve come to accept that a pile of clothes left for a few days is just part of living fully, and that’s perfectly okay.
I’m excited to continue exploring my heritage and to learn more about my family’s journey. It’s a reminder to live a balanced, authentic life—embracing the strengths I’ve inherited, while letting go of what no longer serves me. My Italian roots are a part of my story, not just in ancestry but in values, resilience, and love for family. And I’m grateful to carry these pieces with me, as I move forward on my own path.
P.S. To keep up to date with me, follow me on LinkedIn or subscribe to my Youtube Channel.
If you also find yourself struggling with your work/life balance, feeling burnt out and fatigued, or just needing a change, check out my upcoming Evolve the Leader Seminar Series.